P: Mom your bum is a LOT bigger than mine. Me: Thanks for pointing that out. :-(

P: Mom, you are the most awesome guy ever. Me: Um, thanks!

P drew a picture of his family at school today. Apparently he views me as a green-skinned cyclops .....

P was getting squished by J and said, "Ow, you're hurting my blood!"

I was struggling to get my seatbelt to latch and P piped up, "Maybe you're too big, Mom!"

P: I have a headache I'm my tummy.

My parents watched the boys tonight so we could have a date. Their very tall Home Teacher came while they were there. P said, "I saw a tall human!"

P: Mom, can you tickle me so my laugh will come back? Me: I didn't know it was lost!

P noticed the peeling paint on our house and said, "Our house's skin is falling off!"

E does a lot of jabbering & we have no idea what he is saying. P said, "Mom! E talks a lot of Spanish!"

Heading to the church for mutual and P hollered, "Don't be naughty!" Crap, I was planning on it!

P just asked me why my belly wiggled. :-(

An excerpt from P's prayer one night: "I love my family. They are all cute."

I called P a smarty pants and he replied, "Mom, I'm not candy!"

P just told J, "Dad, you're not awesome."

P: Mom! Dude is not my name, It's P!

P thinks that his nipples came from bee stings! 

P is worried that I'll turn into a girl werewolf. Hmmm ... maybe too much Scooby Doo? Perhaps.

P got a call from his 5-year-old cousin, W. She's talking his ear off and he keeps saying, "Oh, cool." "Uh huh", and stuff. It is funny. At one point, he said, "Don't talk so much."

P totally asked the student speech therapist why she had a big belly. Oh how horrifying! She took it in stride.

P asked for some candy. I said, "Not this morning, maybe after school." P said, "Mom! That not be cool!"

P: A big burp is funny and a little burp is naughty. Huh?

Extreme Makeover built a house in our town. Whenever we drive past the house, P says, "Mom! That is where we move the bus!"

P: "Kissing is really yucky!" Good job, buddy. Let's keep thinking that for another 18 years!

Went to a baptism. P claimed he had to go potty AGAIN so I just sent him alone. He was gone for a long time. I finally went looking for him and met a gentleman near the bathroom. Man: Do you have a boy with brown shoes? Me: Yes. Man: He's yelling for you. I go into the bathroom and he is screaming for me to wipe his bum. Oops! How embarrassing!

Daddy, since I'm four, can I have four Christmas trees?

P got 2 pieces of candy from his teachers at church. He ran to J & said, "I have 1 for me and 1 for you!" The man J was talking to said,"Where is mine?" P looked distraught & then he grabbed the candy out of J's hand and gave it to the man.

I'm thankful for my eyeballs!

P totally just came up to me and said, "Nice ascot!" LOL! Can you tell we've been watching Toy Story 3 a little too much!?!?

I threw a coat on P's head to be silly and he said, "Mom, I'm not a hook!"

Mom, you have HUGE feet!

P told my friend that our maple tree was broken because the leaves had fallen off.

J saw that P looked sad & asked him why. P said, "My prayer wasn't answered." J: "What was your prayer?" P: "I want to be a superhero!"

I heard P singing to himself, "I'm gonna be gorgeous today, I'm gonna be gorgeous today!"

P told J that he was going to be a dinosaur for Halloween, E could be a puppy, J could be an astronaut, and he said he wanted me to be a ... wait for it ... sponge. What?!?! That is the best he can come up with? Sheesh.

P makes watching Food Network no fun. He yells 'ew' and 'yucky' all the time.

Daddy, make me a princess!

Mom, you're huge!

P: Mom I want to watch Strong Prince!  (After a while I figured out he meant Hercules)

P saw Shrek and Fiona kissing in Shrek 2 and said, "EW! That is bis-gusting!"

We drove up to a local Chinese restaurant and P saw the Chinese characters. He immediately exclaimed, "Is this where we learn Kung Fu?"

The last couple of months I've been teaching P about stoplights. You know, we stop on red and go on green. Anyway, not too long ago, the city installed a stoplight at a busy intersection near my parents house. The other night as we were leaving my parents house, P went running out the door toward the car and all of the sudden he froze in place. I asked what he was doing and he didn't respond. I got closer to him and realized he was staring at the red stoplight a block away. He said, "I got to wait for green!" It was so funny! I thought J and I were going to bust a gut laughing!

The other night we were hanging out on the floor. P and J were playing and soon I heard J whisper into P's ear, "Go give mommy a kiss on the cheek." P stood up (I totally thought he was coming in my direction) and whispered very loudly into his daddy's ear, "NOOOOO!" Another gut buster! :-) Love that kiddo!

The other night J was getting P ready for bed. P started talking to J very seriously about something but no sound was coming out of his mouth. He kept mouthing words and having a very intense discussion with J. J kept saying, "What are you doing? Why are you doing that?" Finally, P spoke and said in a matter of fact voice, "DAAADDD! I can't hear!"

P has these two inflatable Crayons that are about a foot long. He loves it when we put them under his shirt, on his back, so then he feels like he has a jet-pack. He runs around playing like he is an astronaut. Anyway, the other day, he runs up to me (with said Crayons in place) and says, "Mom! I have LOTS of gas!"  I nearly died laughing! :-)

Every night we tell P he has ten minutes before he has to go and get ready for bed. It is a nice buffer that lets him get used to the idea of going to bed and has stopped the major tantrums ... most of the time. One night, his ten minutes were up and he was not pleased. He informed me that I was no longer his mom and that Grandma Bonna was. ("Grandma Bonna" is his awesome daycare provider.) I might have been upset but I love Bonna to bits so it didn't bother me! :-)  P loves going there and loves to see Grandma Bonna at church!

While we were driving somewhere, P told me, "Daddy is big and strong ..... and you are short!"

P kept talking about the "a-keer-um" and I had no idea what he was talking about! Finally, I figured out he was trying to say: aquarium!

I asked P to put his toys away and he said, with a know it all voice, "but Mom, it's too late!" Whatever dude, clean up!

P saw the crescent moon a while back and exclaimed, "Where did the broken pieces go?!"

P loves to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and started running around, saying Ka-moon-ga!  (Cowabunga)

We had quite the experience on August 1st. I went to a neighborhood party with my parents. One of the hosts was a Bishop of mine from my childhood. He lost his right arm in a farming accident as a child. P noticed and kept mentioning it to me. I told him that it was okay and explained the accident. When my parents arrived, P started talking about it again trying to show them. I kind of shushed him because I was embarrassed. Then, as we were getting ready to leave, the sweet man came up to say goodbye to us. I shook his hand and then he turned to P to say goodbye. P immediately declared, "You have one arm!" He was so sweet and nice and said, "Yes I do!" Then he tried to convince P that he had sucked on his thumb and ended up biting his arm off. P immediately said, "Nuh uh! A tractor did it!" I think it caught him off guard but he knew he had been caught and laughed. I am so grateful that he was so understanding of our sweet, innocent child. :-)
One day we walked into a pitch black garage and P exclaimed, "It's so dark, I can't hear!"

P asked me, "Do you want to watch a movie, Honey?" :-)

One day, P was trying to show our Home Teachers his owie on his bum. Luckily, we got him stopped before he got his pants dropped! :-)

While playing with some toys, P yells out, "Seat belts, Captain!"  I think he and J have been watching too much Star Trek! ;-)

P informed me that I am not a lady, just a girl .. and a mom.

J broke a plastic fork and P immediately demanded a band aid to fix it!

P reassured me that I am a girl, not a monster. Good to know!
    • Pointing to the maple tree that had lost all of its leave, "That tree is broken!"

    • Daddy is big and strong and you are short mom.

    • Akeerum (Aquarium)

    • When asked to clean up, "Mom it's too late!"

    • After seeing the crescent moon, he wondered where the broken pieces went.

    • Ka-moon-ga! (Cowabunga)

    • It's so dark, I can't hear!

    • Do you want to watch a movie, honey?

    • Seat belts Captain! (Too much Stark Trek)

    • P broke a plastic fork and demanded a bandaid to fix it.

    • Mommy you're a girl not a monster.

    • P was acting like a fish so we asked him if he was a fish. He replied, "I not a fish, I P!"

    • J accomplished a simple task and P said, "You did it! Good job, Daddy! You're the man!"

    • P's toy fell down the stairs. He gasped and said, "You hurt?"

    • While P was watching Spongebob Squarepants, I asked him what he wanted for lunch. He replied, "A Krabby Patty!"

    • While watching a Baby Einstein video, P was shouting the names of the different items they were showing. When the fridge came on, he shouted "Juice!" He totally knows where the juice is kept!

    • Just as we finished checking out at Walmart, P exclaimed loudly, "I poop! I poop! I poop!" The faster we walked to get the heck out of there, the louder he proclaimed that he had pooped. We got a few smiles & chuckles from employees.

    • P spends too much time with little girls because every color you ask him to name ... is PINK!

    • While blessing his dinner, in mostly jabber talk, P all of the sudden said PIG and oinked and then closed his prayer. CUTE!

    • P has started insisting that J give him several kisses when we put him to bed. He usually asks for the forehead, cheek, nose, & chin. Tonight, he wanted Daddy to kiss his teeth! Daddy did not oblige!

    • P folded his arms to say his bed time prayer and said, "Dis is my prayer. Amen!"

    • After "scaring" J, P ran to me and said, “Mom, I scawy!”

    • As J was carrying P to brush his teeth before bedtime, P dropped his stuffed bear and yelled down to it, "Sowy!" (Sorry)

    • After hurting his knee, P asked me to kiss it better, so I did. After I kissed it, he told me, "Good job!"

    • "Scawy" (Scary)

    • "Gabby" (His Grandmas)

    • "Bum bob!" (Spongebob)

    • As the last drops of water in the bathtub drained out, P kneeled down & yelled down the drain for the water to come back. "Mon!" "Meer!"

    • P was watching the slideshow of pictures on the computer. The next thing I knew, he had his stuffed kitty sitting in the chair watching with him! (Cute!)

    • "Meer!" (Come here)

    • "Mon" (Come on!)

    • "No wanna share!"

    • "Chichen" (Chicken)

    • "Dank doo!" (Thank you)